n***@ please.

All the time, I hear the n-word casually thrown around, even in the hallways at school. Every time I hear it, it throws me off a little because the people that I see using the word are generally people that I know to be what most would consider "privileged" white kids. It goes further than that word, people used demeaning terms all the time. I personally think they do so to make themselves feel better about their lives.
I think the connotation that oppressing words suggest, gives kids the idea to think that it's okay to use them. Not everyone has it easy, and these kids know that.. but they use those kinds of words anyways because they don't get enough "suffrage", but don't want to seem so spoiled. We are so separated from desperation in our tiny "north shore bubble", that we don't always understand the meaning behind the things that we say. We were asked a couple months ago whether or not where we live effects who we are. I definitely think that it makes a big impact on who we are and how we project ourselves in society, because to some, where they live is all they know in terms of culture. I guess using derogatory words makes people feel satisfied in getting the most they can out of this whole human experience that everyone's always trying to figure out what they're supposed to do with. Until then, let us be slaves to society and to our peers and continue on with the ignorance...?

Hotel Arizona

I think the southwest, though dry and desolate, is one of the most outstanding examples of nature in America. I recently visited a friend in Arizona and went for a hike up a mountain basically in my friend's back yard. I was overwhelmed by the beauty I saw in the desert, because I never expected to find so much raw beauty in it. Usually, when I thought of a southwest desert, I would picture a few cacti and a little snake squiggling around, but the closer I looked at the desert, the more I appreciated it. A desert hardly gets any rain and when it does the cacti and other plants soak up the little nourishment they are lucky to get, then hold onto it as long as they can, cherishing their latest drink of water. This, to me, is paralleled by human nature... as in nature vs. nurture. Those whom do not get enough nurturing, naturally take the little nurturing that they do gain and soak it up and cherish it... it really depends on the person. If this person is like an ordinary house plant that you have to water daily, and you stick them in a place with less nurturing (desert), in constant deprivation of the ammt. of nurturing they require, then they do not thrive and survive as well as say, a cactus. I also love the rockiness of the mountains by her house. These massive mountains are surrounded by so much flat land, that I love how high they do reach because it could figuratively inspire those who don't get enough nurturing to reach for something more... just like Chris McCandless, who journeyed into the west in hope of reaching the fulfillment in his life that he was missing, in order to complete himself. Since America wasn't considered "America" until the west was added to the "property", Chris McC or "Alexander Supertramp" (alex=colonies) wasn't Chris until he reached his own enlightenment which he had to find in himself by escaping to the west(west+colonies=Chris McC). I think that's one of the reasons people reach out to the west, because they know deep down that there's always more that they could do to fulfill their lives... and for some, it's right in their back yard.

Hell is Chrome

I was listening to the song "Hell is Chrome" by Wilco and one verse reminded me of what we were talking about earlier in the semester about seasons:

The air was crisp
Like sunny late winter days
A springtime yawning high in the haze
And I felt like I belonged
Come with me

Winter was generally the "dark" season... but if it's a sunny late winter day, then that to me could be an optimistic turning point, heading for a brighter future. This "brighter future" could be part of a journey lead by the angelic woman from Manifest Destiny. We've been talking about "moving west" in our class lately, and I think that since McC spent most of his travels in the west, it could be where he belonged. "Come with me" figuratively billowed out of his decomposed remnants, saying, "'come with me'. Leave this life behind, because the 'springtime is yawning in the haze'." Not saying, you have to die in order to leave your life behind... but giving yourself a fresh start is more like it, because everyone is always in a constant search to find where they belong.

The Legend of Timothy Treadwell

It takes a lot to leave your life behind and rebirth yourself into a fresh human being. Timothy Treadwell is a hero in my eyes because he had enough self-respect and honor to become a new person. Being a recovering alcoholic, he had to throw away his addiction to a life centered on alcohol and replace it with an addiction to a life focused on the well being of grizzly bears. “I feel good about myself when I do this,” explained Treadwell. He did this because he thought that he belonged with nature to be a spirit amongst the bears. He even said, “I must be a spirit in the wilderness.” Timothy Treadwell isn’t his given name; it’s an alias for his new life. He died alongside the alcoholism. Treadwell was utterly devoted to the bears, I think, because he had an identity crisis and chose to identify himself as a guardian of the bears because he could not protect himself from letting his life spiral downwards. He isolated himself from physical human contact in order to get in touch with himself. The isolation would help him to escape from the world and get to know himself. Once he knew who he actually was, he could depend on and trust himself. Eventually he would be a stable being. Stability, in this case, is the key element to finding happiness.